[Meeting people is easy]
My grandmother's visit is officially over. I didn't get to see her all that much. The conference kept her busy. Plus, her man friend was in town for it, too, so they hung out most of the time. She spent the night in his camper last night instead of here. You gotta love my grandmother, though. She does her own damn thing and no one gives her orders. Plus, she brought two grocery bags full of bread she got at the day-old bread store in Jackson, including blueberry bagels, which I'd forgotten how much I loved.
So next weekend my mom will be dropping by so I can take her to the airport for her trip to Houston. I'm nervous about her flying.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been playing message tag with an old friend on MySpace. We might meet up for dinner tomorrow night. She went to the U of M and lives here in town. I haven't seen her since high school graduation. I'm torn because I want to stay in this comfortable, anonymous albeit lonely pocket of space, but I also don't want to seem or feel like a hermit just because I don't want to take the chance of getting to know new people. And, since I haven't seen or talked to her in more than five years, I'm pretty sure she can be considered a new person. And boy, am I nervous.
What is it about socializing that I get so hung up about? It takes me such a long time to warm up to people. Is it that I don't want to be evaluated and judged, or that I don't want to go through the hassle of evaluating and judging others? Argh. It frustrates me to think that I might have to wait another two or three years to start building a friend base here of people to hang out with. But honestly? I haven't met a single person yet that I would want to hang out with. Why aren't there funny, smart people hanging out around my doorstep when I get off from work? Why do I have to go to some shitty bar to find them?
Speaking of co-workers, which no one explicitly did, there's a new intern where Phil works. She's 19, blonde, and named Whitney. (Incidentally, her best friend is named Amber). I know Phil reads this blog, but despite this topic's personal nature, this is something I don't feel like not writing about. So onward. Anyway, Whitney asked Phil out to lunch twice and twice he declined. Then one day she up and told him, "I got your phone number!" Apparently she ganked it off of the secretary's staff list, which is kind of weird, but I can't judge since, when I was 12, I memorized my crush's phone number from the phone book, though I never actually called. So Phil says he told her that he has a girlfriend and she just sort of shrugged, but he said not in a malicious way, but more in a "Why does it matter? I'm not a threat" way. So he tells me this stuff last week, and we have a good laugh, because throughout the eight years we've been together, he's always had ladies hitting on him. The whole time, he kept saying, "Man, I hope she doesn't call here."
Night before last, I answer the phone and it's a girl. "Can I speak to Philip please?" I laughed and looked at Phil and said, "Phil, it's a girl." He takes the phone and makes some desperate faces to me, communicating that he doesn't want to answer, but faced with no other choice, he does. And then he gets up and walks off, out of the room, and upstairs. This is the point of the story where my reason meter sparks and goes haywire and I follow him, hissing, "Where are you going? Why can't you talk to her in here?!?!" and he's waving me off like a gnat. So I call Amber, who I'd just let go minutes earlier, and tell her what's going on. She's as incredulous as I am, possibly even more so. So with the phone on my ear, I storm upstairs, to where Phil is on the phone, pacing in the spare room. I peek over the railing and he's motioning for me to get the fuck away and I'm cursing to Amber and cursing at him and finally he says, "Hey, let me call you back," and we stomp downstairs and have a brief yelling match in which he tells me I overreacted since I didn't have anything to worry about. Also, I embarrassed him and she probably thinks I'm a psycho. Of course, I don't give a flying sack of monkey shit what this chick thinks, unless she's considerably clinically retarded and doesn't understand the nuances of calling a guy who has a girlfriend. I'm just saying.
Anyway, I don't know if he called her back or if she called again or ever will. But it was a surreal 10 minutes and not a series of events I'd like to repeat. I don't feel like I overreacted in the least, since I handed him the phone, even after having the chance to hang up on the poor girl or tell her not to call. My only beef was with Phil's need to leave the room and talk to her away from me. And I reserve the right to be offended by that. He'd reserve the same right if some cute guy from work called me randomly and I went upstairs to take the call. I know he was a bit embarrassed, but leaving the room won't hide your shame; it will just make you seem suspicious.
My grandmother's visit is officially over. I didn't get to see her all that much. The conference kept her busy. Plus, her man friend was in town for it, too, so they hung out most of the time. She spent the night in his camper last night instead of here. You gotta love my grandmother, though. She does her own damn thing and no one gives her orders. Plus, she brought two grocery bags full of bread she got at the day-old bread store in Jackson, including blueberry bagels, which I'd forgotten how much I loved.
So next weekend my mom will be dropping by so I can take her to the airport for her trip to Houston. I'm nervous about her flying.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been playing message tag with an old friend on MySpace. We might meet up for dinner tomorrow night. She went to the U of M and lives here in town. I haven't seen her since high school graduation. I'm torn because I want to stay in this comfortable, anonymous albeit lonely pocket of space, but I also don't want to seem or feel like a hermit just because I don't want to take the chance of getting to know new people. And, since I haven't seen or talked to her in more than five years, I'm pretty sure she can be considered a new person. And boy, am I nervous.
What is it about socializing that I get so hung up about? It takes me such a long time to warm up to people. Is it that I don't want to be evaluated and judged, or that I don't want to go through the hassle of evaluating and judging others? Argh. It frustrates me to think that I might have to wait another two or three years to start building a friend base here of people to hang out with. But honestly? I haven't met a single person yet that I would want to hang out with. Why aren't there funny, smart people hanging out around my doorstep when I get off from work? Why do I have to go to some shitty bar to find them?
Speaking of co-workers, which no one explicitly did, there's a new intern where Phil works. She's 19, blonde, and named Whitney. (Incidentally, her best friend is named Amber). I know Phil reads this blog, but despite this topic's personal nature, this is something I don't feel like not writing about. So onward. Anyway, Whitney asked Phil out to lunch twice and twice he declined. Then one day she up and told him, "I got your phone number!" Apparently she ganked it off of the secretary's staff list, which is kind of weird, but I can't judge since, when I was 12, I memorized my crush's phone number from the phone book, though I never actually called. So Phil says he told her that he has a girlfriend and she just sort of shrugged, but he said not in a malicious way, but more in a "Why does it matter? I'm not a threat" way. So he tells me this stuff last week, and we have a good laugh, because throughout the eight years we've been together, he's always had ladies hitting on him. The whole time, he kept saying, "Man, I hope she doesn't call here."
Night before last, I answer the phone and it's a girl. "Can I speak to Philip please?" I laughed and looked at Phil and said, "Phil, it's a girl." He takes the phone and makes some desperate faces to me, communicating that he doesn't want to answer, but faced with no other choice, he does. And then he gets up and walks off, out of the room, and upstairs. This is the point of the story where my reason meter sparks and goes haywire and I follow him, hissing, "Where are you going? Why can't you talk to her in here?!?!" and he's waving me off like a gnat. So I call Amber, who I'd just let go minutes earlier, and tell her what's going on. She's as incredulous as I am, possibly even more so. So with the phone on my ear, I storm upstairs, to where Phil is on the phone, pacing in the spare room. I peek over the railing and he's motioning for me to get the fuck away and I'm cursing to Amber and cursing at him and finally he says, "Hey, let me call you back," and we stomp downstairs and have a brief yelling match in which he tells me I overreacted since I didn't have anything to worry about. Also, I embarrassed him and she probably thinks I'm a psycho. Of course, I don't give a flying sack of monkey shit what this chick thinks, unless she's considerably clinically retarded and doesn't understand the nuances of calling a guy who has a girlfriend. I'm just saying.
Anyway, I don't know if he called her back or if she called again or ever will. But it was a surreal 10 minutes and not a series of events I'd like to repeat. I don't feel like I overreacted in the least, since I handed him the phone, even after having the chance to hang up on the poor girl or tell her not to call. My only beef was with Phil's need to leave the room and talk to her away from me. And I reserve the right to be offended by that. He'd reserve the same right if some cute guy from work called me randomly and I went upstairs to take the call. I know he was a bit embarrassed, but leaving the room won't hide your shame; it will just make you seem suspicious.
posted by theogeo | 6/08/2005 10:03:00 AM
2 Comments:
You have every right to judge. YOU were 12, memorizing a crush's phone number. SHE is 19, fully aware of the ramifications of trying to mack on someone else's guy. I'm just sayin'.
I think I'd just do that phone wizard thing and block her number and incoming calls. I think you have every reason to be upset.
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