Thursday, June 2

[You and I, uneasy, livid]
Last night when I got off work, I decided I didn't feel like going home just yet, so I stopped off at the Flying Saucer for a drink. While I was knocking back a couple of beers for the road, I noticed that Justin Timberlake and Isaac Hayes (Memphis natives, both, though I didn't realize they were so chummy) were sitting in the corner, sipping from steins, laughing at some sports blooper on TV. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I approached them, won them over with a self-deprecating remark about being new in Memphis, and they took me out on a yacht and we cruised up and down the Mighty Mississippi all night, smoking long black cigars, sipping champagne, and snorting horse off a call girl's forehead.

Just kidding. I went home and got my health insurance paperwork together so I can find an eye doctor and get new contacts. And then I came back to work at 11 this morning. God, I love day shifts. Tonight there's an Italian festival really close to the apartment, and some random, crazy Vietnam veteran gave Phil two free passes, so I figure we should go. I mean, I've always really wished I was Italian, even though Catholics are spooky. Why shouldn't I go revel in their culture? My people, the Scotch-Irish (Scots-Irish?) bore me.

Today's sage wisdom comes from Tommy Chong (via MSNBC):
If Tommy Chong had only one day left on this planet, he’d spend it settling a score with the former U.S. Attorney General. "I'd seek revenge on first and foremost John Ashcroft, because he put me in jail for selling bongs," Chong told Complex magazine. "I’d tell him to go [bleep] himself, but I would do it on his terms and forgive him like a good Christian, which would freak him out. I'd probably hug him."

6 Comments:

Blogger J. R. said...

Both Scots-Irish and Scotch-Irish are acceptable (I don't know what style says though). Trust it from a fellow member of that religously-oppressed sub-genre.

Thu Jun 02, 09:23:00 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Somehow I knew I wouldn't be the first to comment on that. Scots-Irish is preferred, I believe.

Fri Jun 03, 12:32:00 AM  
Blogger theogeo said...

I firmly believe that putting something in parenthesis with a question mark can get you out of any tight squeeze. (Assassination?) (sp?)

Fri Jun 03, 12:44:00 AM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Der ... (parentheses?)

Fri Jun 03, 12:44:00 AM  
Blogger J. R. said...

Blender had a little mention of Built to Spill being back in the studio. I thought of you...awww!

They are from Idaho??

Fri Jun 03, 12:55:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Aw, shucks. They are indeed from Idaho, disproving the "Real Talent Only Comes from New York and Orange County" theory of pop cultural significance.

Sat Jun 04, 12:27:00 AM  

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