So close

Felix, in his old age, sleeps a lot. He likes his food mixed with warm water to make it softer on his old teeth. He's skinny and frail and sometimes he trips while scuttling across the hardwood floors.

It's hard to watch him get old.

Monday we had a close call. I made plans with Phil — visitation plans, I guess you could call them, since I hadn't seen him in more than a month — and thought we might take Felix to the park to run around like he used to do.

I won't get into the specifics, but Phil and I got into a curbside discussion about actually taking Felix out. I said we should, he said we shouldn't, repeat ad nauseam. So Phil brought Felix out to the car so I could at least see him.

So I scritched Felix and gave him as much attention as he would take before demanding to be let down to explore the floorboards. All of a sudden, while Phil and I are having still more discussions about other weighty things, we notice that Felix has just sort of splayed out in the floorboard and is drooling and can barely move.

This sets in motion a whirlwind of affairs I'd rather not relive, including hysterical, tear-soaked, speed-limit-breaking visits to two separate vet clinics that refused to see a ferret — even one in extreme distress. Talk about fucking pissing me off. Yeah, they're "exotic," but they're not fucking alien. I'm pretty sure any doctor worth his weight in student loans could figure out how to hook up an IV to a ferret and at least get him conscious again.

So yeah, Eastgate — you with your horrible website and your rude, rude doctors who loudly bitched and moaned about having to see a ferret while we were standing RIGHT THE FUCK THERE WHERE WE COULD HEAR YOU — and that other clinic on the corner of East Parkway and Central? You're both dead to me. Fucking Eastgate — I've been a customer there since 2005 and that's where my cats were fixed. But I'll be moving on to another clinic whose doctors maybe can be a bit more compassionate next time.

Okay. I digress.

The good news is that Felix did eventually come around. It took a while, but he started digging around in his towel and licking himself again. And then he would drink water and eat treats. Just half an hour before, he had been completely unresponsive, limp, and drooling everywhere.

I think maybe he got heat exhaustion. Phil thinks it has something to do with carbon monoxide poisoning. Whatever it was seems to have subsided, as Felix is now staying with me for a little while, and he's acting more or less normal. Right now he's curled up underneath my bed, dreaming little ferret dreams about rooting through flowerpots and tormenting rabbits.

I know he's not going to be around forever. But we got a reprieve this time.

Phew.

Joint custody sucks

I miss Felix.

I have no idea how people do this with actual human children.

Memory Monday

I swear, I make it through my digital clutter at an even slower pace than my physical clutter.

Here's a (silent) video I found of Felix and Gonzo playing back in the spring of 2005. Gonzo's been gone nearly a year now, believe it or not.



Man, oh man, I miss him a lot.

Snip-snip update

Just got a call from the vet — kudos to them, by the way, for calling with an update — that the kitties are now spayed (nine-minute surgery) and neutered (thirty-second surgery) and hopped up on kitty painkillers for recovery. I get to pick them up tomorrow after 10.

Felix, meanwhile, has the run of the place. He's getting to eat outside the cage and sleep wherever he wants without fear of being pounced. Actually, that goes double for me. Uh, sans cage.

Day 310 — Feeding Time

I've had to start feeding Felix in the cage (or hang around to watch him eat), because if I leave him unattended, the kitties — mostly Jack — move in and snarf up all his food. Because, you know, I never feed them and they are STARVING TO DEATH.

Here's how it usually happens:



Decides he'd like ferret food for lunch.



Makes an obvious move.



Gets smacked away by human. Is full of resentment. Begins hatching sinister plan involving his supreme cuteness.



Begins to feign stretches.



Does an acrobatic roll.



Nonchalantly lands in a prime position.



"Hey, man, I really feel close to you ... like a brother, you know?"



"I mean, we have a really solid relationship. You like to sneak into the cabinets to sleep, so do I. You like to make an unholy racket with plastic bags, so do I."



"I just think that — hey, wait a sec. Are you wearing some kind of musk? Mmmm. Smells nice. I'm just gonna sit here for a minute and just smell you, 'k? Just for ... a ..."



Snarf snarf snarf. *gets smacked away by human, again*



Damn you, Two Legs.

Project 365

Day 214 — Furball

[for Thursday, Aug. 2]



Project 365

Day 179 — Why, Yes, I Do Only Photograph My Animals These Days

Project 365

Day 162 — Snack Time

[for June 11]



Project 365

Day 139 — Smooches

[for May 19]



Project 365

Day 127 — Whiskers

Project 365

Day 109 — Felix B/W

Project 365

Day 88 — Felix in a Box

Not quite as popular as other things in boxes, but still quite cute.

Project 365

Friday Ferret Vlogging: 'Bite Me' Edition

Check out how he sniffs out just the perfect spot to sink his teeth into.

This is how he flushes out the ferociousness from his system. A couple of bites on my arm a week, and he's good and sweet.

The power of cute compels you

I just got back from a walk to Burke's to return the book I got for my dad's birthday, which — as I suspected — he already owned. That little transaction will help out with the budget situation this week, but it means that I have to keep hunting for something the man doesn't already own. Which is fricking impossible; this makes at least the third or fourth time I've bought him something he already has, and had to issue an IOU instead of an actual gift.

I need to be more creative. Luckily I have something in mind that I KNOW he doesn't have, if I finagle a decent price.

The walk was nice and, by the time I had made the block and arrived back at my apartment, I was good and sweaty. It's warm. Niiiiice and warm. Ah, from winter to late spring in the matter of a week. Love it. Had to throw the hair into some pigtails to get it out of my face. I'm getting the itch to cut it again (it's been July since I had a haircut), but I have to go through the requisite several weeks of overwrought worrying about what I should actually do to it. I think I actually started the requisite several weeks of overwrought worrying a month ago, so maybe I'm getting close to making an actual appointment.

Blah blah blog blah, who cares about my hair? I barely even care about my hair!

Okay, I'm gonna go make a big fat salad for lunch (at 4 p.m.? yes) and eat some gouda.

Felix says hi.

Friday Ferret Vlogging: Jumpy McSpastic Edition

Day 50 — Felix Sleeps With One Eye Open

And boy does he need his nails trimmed.

Project 365