Monday, April 3

In which I talk about old-people stuff

The weather is so, so nice. I'm stuck inside, though, because I went to the eye doctor this morning and she dilated my pupils and I had to wear some of those ridiculous "sunglasses" so I wouldn't go blind upon stepping outside and seeing the sun glinting off of all the cars in the lot.

It was the first time I'd ever been to this eye doctor. Her exam room was stocked with all this crazy technology I'd never had used on me before. There was a weird blue laser probe thing this machine pressed to my pupils when they were good and numb. One machine targeted my pupils with digital red crosshatches. Why? Who knows.

My longtime eye doctor back in Selmer (yes, that Selmer) used equipment from 1899.

I went to another doctor in East Memphis when I lived out that way last year. He was in Pearle Vision in the Hickory Ridge Mall, and I never really trusted him, even when he showed me charts that clearly said the $200 contacts he was trying to sell me would help my eyes get more oxygen, which would help halt my sight deterioriation.

Well, I made that $200 box of contacts last an entire year. I've been on the last pair for a good month or two now. My new doctor was not amused. She scolded me and told me to give my eyes a rest and wear my glasses more often. I didn't try to explain to her that I don't wear them more often because the prescription in them is at least three or four years old (which, for me, means they're nearing a state of total uselessness) and I can't afford to get new lenses because my vision benefit (which I am completely grateful for; insurance rules) is eaten up by the cost of the exam and the contacts.

But there's good news ... sort of. It turns out that nothing will stop the deterioration of my sight; steadily getting worse over time is normal for near-sighted schmucks like me. So I don't need $200 lenses, which, she says, allow less water content and thus reduce the oxygen transferred to the eye (the opposite of what my other doctor had told me). So she's putting me back in Acuvue lenses (what I grew up using), which are a lot cheaper than the ones the other doctor had talked me into buying. So maybe some new glasses will follow.

Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you all about my trip to the post office and the arthritis in my hip that's been acting up. Yeesh.


Blogger TVonthefritz said...

This blog post reeks of old women.

Mon Apr 03, 06:22:00 PM  

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