Global warming is junk science

Today we're going to have a record high in Memphis — 90 degrees.

Bring it on, I say. As the ozone layer depletes, I am going to be able to get a helluva tan just by peeking out the window. A Paris Hilton tan — all nice and golden orange, like I've just walked through a shower of glittery radioactive particles that are bouncing their way around my cells, killing me slowly.

I tried my hand at re-potting one of the plants that nearly died while I was gone. I bought a cute yellow pot and some potting soil at Home Depot this morning. I'm a pretty miserable gardener and I doubt I did anything but traumatize the poor thing by ripping it out of its plastic container and shoving it into a ceramic pot with some unfamiliar soil.

But, hey, at least I touched some dirt. That's kind of a big deal for me.