Tuesday, November 21

Piece of sh-t car

Last night I saw a shooting star. Made a very selfish wish. Found out today there was a meteor shower last night. Realized I should have made a different very selfish wish — one for a new car that starts when I ask it to. A new car that won't sit for twenty minutes, security light blinking, at the 10-Minute Oil Change place, after not starting not once but twice, while I have to explain to the guys there why my seemingly functional automobile craps out for ten minutes at a time randomly and without warning.

To the guys at the 10-Minute Oil Change on Union and Belvedere, who will never read this, you guys are awesome and patient and I am so glad you weren't assholes like I fully expected you to be once you realized you were going to have to wait ten minutes, and then ten more, when my car wouldn't start and it was stuck in your garage, blocking other potential customers. But business was slow, fortunately, and you guys came inside the waiting area to sit and talk to me and you were very nice and couldn't have made me feel less sheepish for bringing such a quirky car in and taking up your space and time.

So I am going to start the process of figuring out how to sell/trade this car and get another. It's been a decent car, and I've not taken the kind of care of it I should have, but this not-starting problem, along with the tape player being broken and the blinkers occasionally going on the fritz and the dashboard being peeled up and the driver's side window not working and the giant dent I never got fixed a couple of years ago that makes the door creak horribly every time it opens, just sort of push the car into "I want you to belong to someone other than me" territory. If I could rely on this car to start, I'd keep it 'til the day its last wheezing exhaust fume evaoprated into the air. But having a car that only starts 66 percent of the time is kind of a liability when you, you know, have a job and have to be certain places at certain times. Not to mention if you live in Memphis and need to make a quick getaway every now and again.

And while I don't have the money to make a car payment right now, I am due for a raise in January, and hopefully I can rearrange some bills or something to make room in my "budget" for a car payment.

Shudder.

Otherwise I could get stuck in a not-so-innocuous situation where I need to start my car and get the fuck out of some place, and my crappy little car is going to sit there and blink lights at my lifeless body while crazy rabid ganglords pilfer through my belongings and marvel at the sheer filthiness of the interior.

Okay, maybe not. But my boss is kinda starting to think "my car wouldn't start" is a joke.

6 Comments:

Blogger Palm Tree said...

Try "I have no gas money," and "My parents went on vacation and left their vehicles blocking me in." That seems to work well for my employees.

Tue Nov 21, 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Nice! Especially that last one.

Tue Nov 21, 11:47:00 AM  
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