Tuesday, September 13

[Sniffle snort sneeze, etc.]

Let's see ... in my weekendlong haze perpetuated by antihistimines, both natural and in pill form, what have I missed?

Mike Brown is gone from FEMA. Fabulous. No sarcasm there. I hope this unfortunate incident puts an end to political cronyism. Much sarcasm there.

And then there was this surprising quasi-mea culpa from Bush: "To the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility." It's meaningless, of course, but kudos to his advisers for letting him say that. I still don't think he can investigate his own fuck-up very effectively. But "my bad" is a start, I guess, from a president who, roughly this time last year, couldn't think of a single thing he'd done wrong during his term.

And, of course, John Roberts spent the day yesterday talking about baseball. I'm disinclined to have an opinion on the man, other than the standard "He's a Republican? Ew!" that you've come to expect from me. Still, after all the back-and-forth and the commercials they've been playing around the clock on CNN here, I can't decide if I need to write my senators and beg for them to help block his nomination (fat chance, but that's a representative democracy for ya). Patrick says he's no moderate, which surprises me, because I thought he sort of was. I just don't see the Bush administration nominating any judge who would meet my left-leaning standards, or even my standards if I stood up straight, so I guess I see Roberts as a decent compromise. Let's all just be sure to double-bag it from now on, just in case, if you know what I mean.

Well, I'm not in a very seriously contemplative mood, so here's some funny, courtesy of my favorite womanizer, Bill Maher:

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

"Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out, and no one is speaking to you: mission accomplished! Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?!

"Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying that there's so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in ... please don't. I know, I know, there's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.

"Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans ... maybe you're just not lucky!

"I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So, yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, 'Take a hint.'"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dig your way out of the tissues and check your email. I've left a couple of flaming bags on the front porch of your inbox. Better put them out.

Tue Sep 13, 03:18:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Hee. Our grandmas are crazy.

Tue Sep 13, 03:34:00 PM  

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