Friday, August 5

[100 things]
1. When possible, I like to be barefoot. Failing that, flip-flops are the next best thing.
2. I do not enjoy "night life" or "bar hopping" or "getting crunk" or any other action that can result in much head and dignity pain later and/or the next day.
3. I have weak wrists and prefer it if you would not touch them.
4. I'm addicted to nasal spray.
5. I wish I had red hair.
6. I'm an internet junkie.
7. I'd like to be a photographer, a writer, or a painter.
8. I'm keeping my day job.
9. My most painful memory of middle school involves a guy I had a crush on calling me "lumberjack legs."
10. I haven't always been a dirty liberal. I was pretty conservative until my senior year of high school, when I started asking questions. And then I got to college and, well, you're standing in the blood dripping from my heart.
11. Growing up, I never imagined I'd work in the news business.
12. For some reason, I wanted to be an OB-GYN until I realized that I have an intense aversion to blood and tissues.
13. I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 12.
14. For the last time, the thing in my eye is my birthmark, not a pencil-jab scar or embedded cyborg laser.
15. I have an annoying habit of identifying typefaces used in movie credits, ads, etc., to whoever's sitting next to me.
16. I often feel like I have not planned sufficiently for my future.
17. I have an ever-growing list of things I'm afraid of, but at the top is spiders and other creepy-crawlies that I can't seem to rid my apartment of.
18. I miss Murfreesboro and Nashville like crazy.
19. I feel like if I had a better attention span and memory and appreciation for the law, I'd enjoy being an attorney.
20. I come from a humble blue-collar family.
21. My mom is a nurse and my dad works at a paper mill.
22. I have a 31-year-old sister (who has two kids) and a 17-year-old brother (who just graduated from high school).
23. My two nephews are pretty much the only children I actually like. Oh, and my (unofficial) niece, Rylee.
24. I have one living grandparent and one living step-grandparent.
25. Making lists like these is a killer way to waste time at work.
26. I don't eat right.
27. I don't exercise.
28. I'm soft to the touch.
29. As a child, I idolized Cyndi Lauper and Boy George.
30. I prefer cold weather, mostly because my winter clothes are way cooler than the derelict dig-store T-shirts that comprise my summer wardrobe.
31. Still, I need sunshine.
32. I can't cook but I'm trying to learn.
33. I don't make friends easily.
34. I'm sure that has nothing to do with my dark sense of humor and standoffishness.
35. I'm a sucker for cartoony video games, and ones where you simulate everything from theme parks to life.
36. I sometimes wish I'd been born Italian.
37. I've never been involved in any fisticuffs.
38. The last time I rode a horse, it decided to lie down and take a dirt bath with me on its back.
39. I imagine my friend Amber and I have sung the "Team America" "Aids aids aids aids aids aids aids aids aids aids aids" line to each other a total of 82 times.
40. I talk to myself a lot. Sometimes in foreign accents.
41. I hate Indian food.
42. I've never broken a bone.
43. I hate camping.
44. Okay, I've never really been camping.
45. But I'm not much on even going outdoors, so I have a feeling I'd hate camping.
46. That's not to say I don't like nature or appreciate its beauty and necessity.
47. Growing up in rural Tennesse convinced me that I'm a city girl at heart.
48. During an ice storm in the mid-1990s, our power was knocked out for almost two weeks, during which time we lived in our basement and survived largely thanks to a kerosene heater and two hurricane lamps.
49. The older I get, however, the more convinced I become of my need for a big, private yard. I hear these are scarce in big cities.
50. This is why I love mid-sized cities such as Nashville, because you can actually live in the city limits and still have a yard.
51. When I lived in Birmingham for a summer, I thought they had a serious smog problem.
52. That was before I lived in Memphis.
53. I don't like pornography or feel that it has any redeemable social value, but I don't want it to be illegal.
54. I don't drink coffee and I don't smoke cigarettes. What kind of journalist am I?
55. Someday I'd like to own my own little bookstore where all my friends can come and read their writings.
56. Being editor in chief of Sidelines aged me several years.
57. I'm a bit of a grammar/spelling wonk.
58. I make far too many mistakes for a grammar/spelling wonk.
59. I went for several years spelling "pregnant" as "pregnate" and "antsy" as "ancy."
60. One of my favorite sounds is that of a ferret sneezing.
61. I'm narcissistic. Example: When people around me laugh or whisper, I automatically assume something's in my teeth or on my shirt or shitty about my work.
62. I love pistachios and almonds and that nutty trail mix with raisins and M&Ms.
63. I wish I'd continued my Spanish language education.
64. I'm 87.995% sure I'll go back to school and get a master's degree.
65. I'm 48.333% sure I'll try for a doctorate degree someday.
66. That I have never traveled overseas distresses me greatly.
67. I have only seen one of the natural wonders of the world -- Niagara Falls.
68. I can't argue face-to-face very well, but I can write scathing, hurtful remarks all the livelong day.
69. My preferred athletic jersey number throughout my ball-playing years was 13, because that was my dad's number when he played, too. Aww.
70. I lose things like clockwork.
71. I usually find lost items in the most obvious places.
72. You can count on my freaking out anyway.
73. I often see things out of the corner of my eye that turn out not to be there. As far as I know, anyway.
74. I haven't been to a doctor in probably a decade.
75. I come from a long line of bipolar women and have so far escaped the disease.
76. My car is filthy, inside and out.
77. I can't get in the habit of drinking alcohol regularly.
78. I tried to get addicted to cigarettes in high school but the habit (thankfully) never stuck because I was literally sickened each time I took a puff.
79. I get angry when I read movie reviews that say nothing because the reviewer doesn't want to spoil the plot for anyone. (Why write a freaking review if you can't talk about the pivotal things that happen?!?!) This only applies to "professional" reviewers who make their living doing this.
80. If you touch my computer screen, I will kill you.
81. I'm no great conversationalist when riding in an elevator.
82. Don't expect me to get up before noon if I don't have to.
83. I once clogged my grandmother's toilet with massive gobs of toilet paper and shaving cream and then blamed it on my cousin and brother -- who were toddlers at the time -- before eventually breaking down into tears and confessing because they were about to get lashed for it.
84. I played one of the "Macbeth" witches in a school play.
85. I never been skiing.
86. With me everywhere is my large purse, full of receipts, gum wrappers, lint, change, scratched sunglasses, a wallet, a phone, lotion, pens, a checkbook, hair clips, and a clear plastic tote full of lip gloss and eye drops.
87. Despite all this, I'm a relatively low-maintenance gal.
88. I could probably subsist on chocolate alone.
89. I bit my nails up until two summers ago, when I stopped cold turkey.
90. I try to avoid eating cooked vegetables, since most of them make me gag.
91. I lost a tooth at the movie theater once. I think I was there seeing "The Little Mermaid."
92. My family had a dog named Ivan the Terrible. He disappeared.
93. Our white Persian cat Jasmine had an unfortunate run-in with our mini-van's motor and lost half her tail.
94. We've had more pets through the years than I can remember.
95. The first CD I ever owned was a 1979 compilation that included "My Sharona" and "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?"
96. My mom and I sang together in an elementary school talent show once, wearing matching homemade Bedazzled T-shirts.
97. I've been chased by a snake (most probably a black racer).
98. I get choked up when I listen to recordings of stuff we did in high school band.
99. My ultimate comfort food is a bowl of Campbell's chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich
100. Thinking of 100 things about myself took me almost two weeks.

2 Comments:

Blogger Wendy said...

I don't get up before 3 if I don't have to. Today I had to. So I got up at 2:40.

Sat Aug 06, 01:11:00 AM  
Blogger phallicpen said...

You're a beaut. Reading that list made me want to squeeze you and ask you about that thing in your eye.

Aids!

Sun Aug 07, 01:14:00 PM  

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