The day's official Fran Moment

[Bit of backstory: Between my mother and my father, four deer have met their fates at the bumper of a Turner vehicle in the past four years. I don't know how or why; that's just part of living and driving out in the middle of nowhere, I guess. So this morning when we left the house at 4:30, it was pitch dark out, and we were reasonably paranoid about psycho deer running in out front of us and smashing up my new car, despite the supposedly deer-repellent noisemakers my dad mounted to my car's grill the day I bought it. Sure enough, between Saltillo and Nashville, we saw one deer leap across the road in front of us, two deer grazing along the side of the road, one suicidal rabbit who ran out in front of us, a stupid cat poised to take off across the highway, three coyotes alongside the interstate (two of which were already roadkill) and two wild turkeys. No animals were harmed in the trip, so stop fucking calling me, PETA.]

On the way home, my mom was gazing out the window, when she turned to me and the following conversation unfolded.

Mom: You know, I would think you should just be able to look into the woods and see deer everywhere. Wouldn't you think so?

Me: [somewhat skeptical, but polite] I don't know. Would you think that?

Mom: Well, yeah. Wouldn't you? Anyway, we should just go running out into the woods so they'd have a chance to hit us for once.

:::

The good news is that the ultrasound of my mom's kidney seems to show just a regular old cyst with no bad intentions for my mom. We're relieved, obviously, but I'm skeptical that a cyst can just exist peacefully without starting to wreck shit out of boredom on down the line. So I'm keeping those digits crossed. Thanks for the good vibes, everyone.

:::

After we got out of the doctor's office, we enjoyed a $30 breakfast feast of griddle cakes, spicy green pepper and chicken omelets, scrambled eggs, fruit, wheat toast, and bacon at Noshville. It was incredible. I'm still full.

After stuffing our sleep-deprived faces, I drove mom around and she pointed out all the places around Nashville she lived when she was a kid and a young adult. Turns out she lived for about a year roughly in Lesley's 'hood. Roughly. And her old house where she went into labor with my sister over on Harvard off of West End is in the cutest freaking neighborhood I may have ever seen.

She also showed me where she had her first kiss when she was fourteen and where the boy, Eddie, worked before it was razed and turned into a strip mall. She said he snuck a kiss from her. I bet she's being modest. Hee hee.

:::

I just woke up from an hourlong nap. I feel pretty ragged. I have heartburn. I'm going back to bed. This time for a few hours, if I can.