Things my cats and I do not agree on

• The appropriate time to poop. They seem to think it's preferable to take turns pooping as I'm preparing my lunch and/or dinner.

• How acceptable it is to knock my living room lamp off the table and punch two holes in the shade and bust the underside of the base.

• The advisability of jumping up and latching on to the oscillating fan.

• How much fun it is to play in the litter box and then bring little bits of litter into my bed.