Monday, June 11


My pal Courtney came over tonight to shoot the Sunday-night shit, and she brought brownies — made from scratch, with walnuts — so I spent the night stuffing my face with brownies, strawberries dipped in chocolate, Doritos, cheese and crackers, and wine. And just now I drank a glass of Coke. Which was completely weird because I haven't had a glass of Coke since October. And I can honestly say I haven't missed it, which doesn't quite explain why I drank it.

But I digress.

Seeing as this was Courtney's first visit to my humble abode, naturally a giant cockroach took the opportunity to scurry up the wall as we were talking, sending me into a seizure of embarrassed wussitude. What was I just saying about me and nature not getting along very well? Yeah, that goes double for anything in nature with six to eight legs.




Blogger Lighthouse Pilot said...

I'm not fond of spiders myself. In fact, I've had several run-ins with the brown recluse species and a few with black widows. Thankfully, I've never been bitten by any of them...knock on wood...but I've been too close for comfort on more than one occassion. I'm an expert at spotting the brown recluse and honestly, it's about the scarriest spider I've seen. Long, slendor, hairless, amber legs. Yick. Once, I was making my bed and I found what looked like grass clippings. Upon closer inspection I saw they were insect legs...then I found a legless brown recluse body near where my feet would have been. Had I killed one in my sleep???

Back to roaches, though. Spiders always draw a very deep, manly, yeeeeeeeh sound from me...but cockroaches...cockroaches make me scream and flail like a little girl.

Mon Jun 11, 03:18:00 AM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Eeeeeeeeek! I want to hear your spider stories! No, wait, I don't. Wait, yes I do. Dammit! Blech.

I've had a similar experience with a spider in the bed. Only I found him in my PILLOWCASE at my parents' house when I visited once. I call it the Summer of the Spider, because they had a brown recluse INFESTATION that year. No joke. They were everywhere. So now I check the sheets and the pillowcase for spiders any time I visit my parents' house.

I've never much had to deal with black widows. I think I'd faint.

I am totally going to get a fake cockroach and put it in your chair. Crap, did I just say that out loud?

Mon Jun 11, 06:16:00 AM  
Blogger sarah saint said...

Eeeeee! Creepy-crawlies suck.

I figured that not cleaning my kitchen would be ok, since it's only used for pacing-space while on the phone. No dirty dishes in the sink, no food on the counters=in the clear, right? Wrong. Story's too long to post here in all its glory, so here:

Oh, and I was bit by a brown recluse on my wedding night. Just to make things more memorable.

Mon Jun 11, 01:34:00 PM  

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