Thursday, April 12

Conversations with the Rite Aid clerk

Clerk: You're not single, are you?

Me: No. Nope. [smiling a pained smile from the barb of my asshole lie]

Clerk: [pause] What has a guy got to do to get a girl to like him? What do girls see in guys?

Me: Ahh, that's a good question. [pause, stare blankly, blink, drool] I guess he's got to be nice, smart, funny, genuine. All that cliché stuff, you know? [smirk of someone who must immediately self-identify as a clueless jerk for that retarded answer] If I knew, man, I'd tell the world!

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5 Comments:

Blogger phallicpen said...

Ahyuck!

Thu Apr 12, 03:56:00 PM  
Blogger La C. said...

Ah yes, the ole' pick up line in the drugstore check out routine. Classy move, almost makes me wish i was still playing the field. I hope you were buying feminine products.

Fri Apr 13, 08:59:00 AM  
Blogger TVonthefritz said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Fri Apr 13, 10:07:00 PM  
Blogger TVonthefritz said...

We should start publishing our random conversations with strangers. I was at a local taco stand run by Asians, whereupon a Mexican woman cajoled me into conversation about her diet.

Mexican woman (talking to me): I got to have my verde. Men no like the big girls, aye, papi? (She called me 'papi' or 'pepe'. Swear to God).

Me: Black men stereotypically like big girls. I'm sure there's men out there who like thick girls.

MW: You no like big girls?

Me: Oh. I'm gay so it really doesn't matter. I'm not really attracted to women.

MW: (gives me a sisterly high five)

Overweight Mexican Man standing in the corner: I like big girls.

Fri Apr 13, 10:11:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

La, worse — I was buying Epsom salt and band-aids. So the kid was all, "You must have a cut or something." Ew.

Fritz, haaaaaaaa ha.

Sun Apr 15, 02:51:00 AM  

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