Tuesday, April 10

Country music update

I spent the weekend with my family, which gave me a chance to listen to something other than the indie/emo/folk/anti-folk crapola on my iPod. Which is always kind of interesting; it's like simultaneously being transported back to my delicately sheltered girlhood (where the musical stylings of Reba McIntyre and John Michael Montgomery had me singing along happily) and being bashed repeatedly over the head with the embarrassing lameness of nu-country or whatever the hell you call that country pop crap churned out by bands that look like the Goo Goo Dolls and sound like the Goo Goo Dolls' even lamer redneck cousins.

Because that kind of country was just not around when I was a country music fan, and I'm wondering who to blame.

Anway, it's time for some bullets.

• All this time I thought that "Lips of an Angel" song by that bottom-feeding power-ballad band Hinder was the worst song of the past five years (in other words, they're the new Creed), and then I heard that song covered by this jackass and I decided that, while the country version is slightly less annoying than the Hinder version, I will still hate it more because WTF WAS THAT DUDE THINKING, COVERING SUCH AN AWFUL SONG.

• Garth Brooks has a song about statutory rape! I don't remember being so scandalized when I sang along to this as a naive 10-year-old.

"Have You Forgotten" is possibly the most unintentionally hilarious song of all time. From the nanosecond I heard it all those years ago, I snickered rudely at its ridiculous premise and strained rhymes ("forgotten" and "bin Laden") but I had no idea that stations still played it without a touch of irony. But they do. And it is even funnier (not in a "ha ha" way, but in a "dear god, it's worse than I thought" way) now in 2007, when things are so unbelievably FUBAR. It should be noted that I take particular delight in being a jerk about Darryl Worley because he's from the same place I'm from. And clearly HE'S the loser, NOT ME! NOT MEEE!

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4 Comments:

Blogger TVonthefritz said...

Did you secretly want to become Dolly Parton, too?

Tue Apr 10, 01:26:00 AM  
Blogger Kate O' said...

Garth Brooks has a song about statutory rape!

Hey, all he says is "teenage" -- he could've been 18...

Tue Apr 10, 11:53:00 AM  
Blogger phallicpen said...

A cab driver recently told me that he's amazed by how good Dolly Parton looks. It was a charged moment.

Is the Garth Brooks song the one about the woman with hands that turn to velvet? And then the lightening flashes in her eyes and he knows that she knows? Wait. No. Those are two separate songs.

Whatevsies. Party on, Garth.

Tue Apr 10, 04:35:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Fritz, no — I was more of the type who wanted to be Boy George.

Kate, okay, good point. Still, creepy!

PP, that's the same song! Party on indeed.

Thu Apr 12, 12:56:00 PM  

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