Wednesday, October 18

Vegetable-chin Joey, the Gay Jew, and the Infuriating Republican blogs: A Gmail Chat

10:17 PM Joey: i know you're busy. but i love my lindsey turner!

me: hey punkin, what's up?

Joey: i'm drunk after a cocktail party for the opening of some art gallery.

me: oooh, what fun!
how was the art?

Joey: it was lifedeathporngucci.
i told the artist he really expanded his asethic (sic) with the added tv of two men fucking.
and then i schmoozed like a schmooze hound.

me: awesome

Joey: it was the alcohol.

me: sounds fun
hope you're feeling better than the other day

Joey: i am.
are you?

me: nope, my ear is giving me hell
i'm gonna go back to the doctor, yuck

Joey: are you at work?

me: yeah
late shift tonight

Joey: well then i'll shut the fuck up.
me: nah, it's OK
I won't be busy again for 30 minutes or so.
we're between editions
glad you checked in

Joey: i left you a voicemail thanking you for the suggestion of drinking at parties.

me: oh lord, I don't want to give you a complex!!
it's not exactly a revolutionary idea, dear!

Joey: i talked to spike lee's editor?
i think.

me: really?

Joey: i was pretty tipsy.
she does some shit with spike lee.

me: jesus, you're meeting all kinds of neat people
i am forever jealous!

Joey: and this guy who looks for gucci.
that was it, tho.
i had vegetable on my chin like a douche.

me: hahahaha
better than boogers
or drool

Joey: and the spike lee lady told me about it.
i felt like a douche.

me: haha, she's a true friend

Joey: that was it, tho.
tomorrow, i'm hanging out with the gay jews.
i want a jew for a boyfriend.

me: don't we all, honey
who are the gay jews?
is that like a musical revue?

Joey: i like him. he's so sweet.
he invited me to his gay jew group, and i pretended to be jewish.

me: you have a suspiciously Semitic look to you

Joey: i know.
that's what everyone says.

me: hee hee
i am totally blogging this conversation if you don't mind

Joey: i hope he likes me.

me: jsut be sure to wipe your chin

Joey: he would have to if invited me back, right?

me: yes!

Joey: i want to have sex with him.

me: now you're just showing off for the blog!

Joey: i do.
i really do.

me: well, no glove no love.

Joey: i'll be careful. jews turn me on, tho.
it's something about their demeanor.

me: and the way they drink the blood of Christian babies?
that's pretty sexxxy

Joey: what else? i argued with a gay republican last week during the jew post-meeting after party.

me: oh lord.

Joey: i told him that ann coulter is a soulless publicity whore.
me: a truth.

Joey: who's sucking the political teat of America.
and then i got him to admit that the Bush adminstration (sp) doesn't align with his views on pot smoking and gay marriage.
so i won in a way.

me: that's what matters

Joey: he eventually told me to stop talking about politics.

me: haha
because being a gay Republican these days is bound to make your head hurt

Joey: he was nice though. he kept buying me drinks...just like a true economically vested republican.
so are you creating the front page today?
oh fuck. i need to stop reading republican blogs while intoxicated.
it's not mark rose. i promise.

me: yes, stop that shit.
read a book or something

Joey: it's about prayer in schools. christians have prayer in schools. it's called a moment of silence and it's respectful of all religions.
just because you want to announce your quasi-religious beliefs like a pseudo-religious whore.
that's not a right in a PUBLIC school.

me: i'm with you, dude
don't get too worked up. enjoy the buzz.

Joey: and jesus wasn't about that at all. he condemn people who openly flaunted their religious beliefs in public.

me: and i hate to run while you're on a roll but we just got our papers so I gotta give 'em a looksee

Joey: condemned people

me: i know, jesus ruled
republicans drool

Joey: i bitch about republicans to myself.

me: don't

Joey: love you, child!

me: you'll have white hair before the semester's out

Joey: i'll pass out on my bed.

me: love you too, take care!
sleep on your belly so the vomit doesn't get caught in your throat, duuude!

Joey: duly noted.

me: :)


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