Monday, February 27

How I love to watch those pretty teens die

Phil got a couple of free movie passes from work and decided last night that he'd like to redeem them by seeing Final Destination 3 instead of Capote, which I was rooting for.

But as we settled into the theater and the story got going, I remembered that I had actually liked the first FD enough to go see it twice (I think it was the first one; I remember seeing it with Tamara in Jackson at the Malco, but it might have been part two...), and this one seemed to be similar enough in style and substance for me to actually enjoy.

And then I realized I like this franchise because it's the ultimate post-adolescent fantasy: A world in which obnoxious teen stereotypes are set up and knocked down like meaty bowling pins in increasingly gruesome ways, practically without adult authority figures anywhere to make sense of anything. You've got your invincible meathead athlete, your punk-rock goth kids, your tanned airheads, your skeezy perv, and your down-to-earth, normal protagonist. Hell yes, bring on the carnage.

On that scale, this one delivered. Ridiculously contrived death sequences, arrogant pre-death "See? Death missed me!" proclamations, nearly non-existent adults, a sea of low-rise jeans, and plenty of sweet, sweet product placement (Apple pretty much sponsored this fucking movie, with a bit of help from whatever company makes the Razr phones).

Of course there are plot holes galore, and even the obligatory Sept. 11 reference (glurf), and for whatever reason, these idiot kids who know they're in line next to die insist on riding around town without their seatbelts on!!!

It's got lame teen-movie conventions tattoed all over it, of course, but if you're interested in creative ways to kill annoying rich kids involving roller coasters and nail guns, you might ought to go see it.

Also, apparently, bangs are back. I just now noticed.


Blogger J. R. said...

I always thought the Final Destination films were pretty clever. I just didn't tell anyone.

On the other hand, I TOTALLY called the bangs trend!

Mon Feb 27, 11:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't seen the third one yet, but I liked the first two. I think I saw the first one five times - a feat which is eclipsed only by my eight viewings of Halloween H2O. Of course, my lust for Michael Myers was the primary fuel for that ridiculous escapade and not gruesome death scenes.

Tue Feb 28, 01:11:00 PM  

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