A note of clarification

It occurs to me that my sweeping generalization of photographers might be just a little unfair. So let me clarify.

I don't hate photographers; I wish I could do what they do. But my experiences throughout my life with photographers have taught me a valuable lesson: You can bank on the assumption that if you meet a photographer, he/she will turn out to be a jerk. A grumbly, grumpy, self-important jerk who can't spell for shit. You might miss by a mile with that assumption about 10 percent of the time, but that means you'll be right a whopping 90 percent of the time.

So to those of you who fancy yourself photographers, if you don't think you're an asshole, you might actually not be (though you can't be trusted to think objectively about yourself, now can you?). But I'm guessing the vast majority of you take pride in your gaping reservoir of jerkdom and flaunt it at every possible opportunity. You are the bastards I'm talking about here. How can you make the world look so compelling and beautiful through your camera lens when you see nothing but opportunities for shittiness through your own eyes?