A serious question

If I have suddenly developed a problem (and by "problem," I mean I've seen two in the past week) with huge, slow flies in the apartment, does this mean I have a problem with huge, slow maggots somewhere?

Have I mentioned I live in filth?

Every surface I own is covered in cat hair, ferret hair, my hair, purple fuzz (why is fuzz always purple? I don't own anything purple that could shed), crumbs, fingernail clippings, junk mail, clothing, feathers, receipts, tissue shreds, newspaper bits, and probably fleas.

It also smells like ass in here.

I have 45 minutes before I have to get ready for work. Everyone hold hands and send Martha Stewart vibes my way.

Oh my god, I'm having company tomorrow

There is a time in every slob's life when she is struck with an acute pang of realization that, in less than 24 hours, there will be actual people — family members, no less — coming into her apartment and making themselves at home for many, many hours. Such a realization floods the brain with recognition of previously untapped talents, such as eagle-eye vision ("Holy crap, that is a huge dust bunny dancing under my bed") and hyper-sensitive olfactory glands ("The kitchen certainly does smell assy this morning").

So, as soon as I complete my computer-assisted search for the "Easy" button (nope, nothing here), I guess I'd better get to work making this place I live in a little more inhabitable for humans who might not have the proper immunities built up.

Day 54 — Fuzz

It's time to clean out the fridge.

Project 365

UPDATE, 1:34 p.m.: Okay, this is really weird. Not two minutes after I had uploaded this photo to Flickr this morning, I noticed that it had already been viewed fortysomething times. Most of my photos are viewed five to ten times, not forty, so this was surprising. Not too much later I noticed that the count had jumped to ninety and it kept climbing — up to 255. I have no idea why, and as far as I know, Flickr doesn't have a trackback feature that lets you see where your visitors are linking from. I took a shower, piddled around, and checked back just now and the hits are down to 199.

So it looks like Flickr's having some issues and I did not, in fact, take the greatest and most compelling photo ever made of strawberry mold. Damn!