Tuesday, June 19

A meme about sleep is nearly as good as actually sleeping, right?

No, not even close. But it's a cool meme and I won't be able to sleep for at least another hour or two, so, yeah. Why not? I stole this from Lesley.

It's Six Weird Things I Do to Go to Sleep or While Sleeping.

1. It's not weird, but I have to brush my teeth before bed or else I'll just lie there imagining my teeth rotting, dissolving while I snooze.

2. It's incredibly uncomfortable for me to sleep in pants of any sort. The only time I do this is if I have company and I have to share my bed with someone who might be uncomfortable with my bare/underwear-clad ass popping out from under the covers.

3. Silence pretty much guarantees that I will be awake all night. I need white noise. Which means I sleep with a fan on, even if it's freezing cold. I just don't point it at me.

4. I require an arsenal of high-maintenance nerd accessories to be near me when I fall asleep. At the very least, I require lip balm and nasal spray. Ideally, I have those two things plus a bottle of water and some eye drops. If I ever got stranded on an island, I'd be fuuuucked.

5. I tend to have lascivious dreams when I nap, for some reason. I like naps.

6. I have a queen-size bed, which I adore, but for some reason I sleep on the left edge, flat on my back, leaving an entire two thirds of the bed empty. I don't even flail my arms on the other side. I blame the fact that I grew up sleeping in a twin bed, so I got used to never moving while I slept.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't sleep without white noise, either. I'm a big fan of the window fan (punny!). And box fans, the white noise heavyweight my parents passed down to me, can transform even a construction zone into a blissful haven of rest. Unfortunately, fans drive Dan positively bonkers.

Wed Jun 20, 07:21:00 AM  
Blogger sarah saint said...

I got lucky in terms of sleeping partners- Luke needs the fan as much as I do. We also need the bedroom to be roughly -37 degrees, with at least two blankets. I use a sleeping mask that gets me ridiculed, but I don't care 'cause I'm well rested.

And I refuse to have a television in the bedroom, at least for watching movies. We have one in there for him to play videogames if I'm watching TV in the living room, but that's its sole purpose, and I think it's been utilized maybe three times.

Wed Jun 20, 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Wed Jun 20, 11:08:00 AM  
Blogger phallicpen said...

You kids should buy the Sweet Dreams white noise-making machine. It's $40 and I'd lick its dainty parts if I wasn't scared it would break

Wed Jun 20, 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger phallicpen said...

I meant to leave a period off the end of that sentence. It's the new cool thing among English majors. Ya heard.

I like to half-rotate my legs back and forth until Craig wishes I were dead.

The password is mfduky.

Wed Jun 20, 11:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed sleeping next to your bare ass for a long time. Its fun! -phil

Wed Jun 20, 11:09:00 PM  
Blogger TVonthefritz said...

Speaking of dainty parts, did you put cloth between your nether-regions when we slept together?

Thu Jun 21, 03:00:00 AM  

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