Tuesday, September 19

The wonders of modern medicine

When the pain comes out of nowhere while you are putting a warm leftover hamburger on loaf bread for lunch, and the throbbing pools within you and weakens your knees, threatening to tear your insides out, and suddenly the burger is on the coffee table and you are doubled up on the couch, trying to quell the intensity of the pain that, though it came from nowhere, feels like it's been there forever, a pain that seems somehow to be attached to your core, to the innermost part of you, and you're contemplating calling out of work because you're not sure you can even stand up with such pain tethering you horizontally to the couch, and you patiently wait for that handful of generic ibuprofen to kick in to an absurd soundtrack of "The People's Court" because you are balled up so tight that you can't even change the channel, and the ibuprofen finally does kick in and you feel the knots and the weight, the burning, release, just like that, and a dark curtain lifts and where there was once a writhing discomfort within you there is now just a dull ache, you really appreciate those white coat-clad wizards who invent and bottle portable and quick pain relief.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm getting my period now, too!

Wed Sep 20, 12:19:00 AM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Let us find some solidarity in this universal womanly suffering. Or something. Bah.

What's weird is that I'm not starting. I'm barely in the on-deck circle, so to speak. I've got at least a week to go before I might start starting. That's why the pain totally took me by surprise. It was seriously out of nowhere.

I must have ovulated my best egg or something and my body is pained because it knows it's not going to get to use it. So my body kicked its own ass for wasting a good one. Or something.

Hee, I can't wait for my dudely readers to enjoy this comment thread.

Wed Sep 20, 12:50:00 AM  

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