Wednesday, September 13

Ways to make your budding spinster aunt proud


• Make a 98 on your band entrance test and remember exactly which two questions you got wrong
• Decide to follow in your uncle's footsteps and play snare drum, which your aunt sorta wishes she'd played too
• Say, "I would never, ever, ever quit band!"*


• Chant "eggs! eggs! chooooocolate!" in the background while your brother tries to speak to your budding spinster aunt on the phone
• Say "I like choooocolate" as a salutation when your brother passes the phone to you
• Recount that time a few weeks ago when you nearly gave your step-dad's friend -- who is deathly afraid of snakes -- quite a heart attack when you pranked him with a rubber snake
• Say "chooooocolate" instead of goodbye when it's time to hang up

Seriously, I can't wait to take these kids to Universal Studios. We are going to have a fantastic time, Deo volente.

*Don't worry — I explained to him that he shouldn't ever feel pressured to stay in band in some day he decides he doesn't want to be in it. I'm not heartless!


Blogger David Holt said...

I got to say, the budding spinster aunt can write. Even if she does damage the cause of feminism everywhere.

Fri Sep 15, 09:44:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home