Ways to make your budding spinster aunt proud

Casey

• Make a 98 on your band entrance test and remember exactly which two questions you got wrong
• Decide to follow in your uncle's footsteps and play snare drum, which your aunt sorta wishes she'd played too
• Say, "I would never, ever, ever quit band!"*


Patrick

• Chant "eggs! eggs! chooooocolate!" in the background while your brother tries to speak to your budding spinster aunt on the phone
• Say "I like choooocolate" as a salutation when your brother passes the phone to you
• Recount that time a few weeks ago when you nearly gave your step-dad's friend -- who is deathly afraid of snakes -- quite a heart attack when you pranked him with a rubber snake
• Say "chooooocolate" instead of goodbye when it's time to hang up

Seriously, I can't wait to take these kids to Universal Studios. We are going to have a fantastic time, Deo volente.

*Don't worry — I explained to him that he shouldn't ever feel pressured to stay in band in some day he decides he doesn't want to be in it. I'm not heartless!