Wednesday, May 3

Blamekillers: Act One

Axe body spray has gamekillers, Aunt B has blamekillers. (Sort of the anti-Blame Squad, if you will.)

At the first sign of some patriarchy-blaming, the blamekillers swoop in to break up the blaming.

Aunt B: You know, it really is a shame that some people still think most women who get raped asked for it.

Blamekiller One: It's stupid for women to think they deserve special treatment if they can't use common sense and not go into dark alleys wearing thongs and shirts that say "Fuck me, stranger."

Aunt B: No, no, you're oversimplifying it. And still you're managing to exaggerate the circumstances at the same time. Not all women are raped by strangers in back alleys, first of all; quite a few are raped by people they know and trust. Can't we work toward a social situation where "common sense" doesn't include making sure I have to secure an escort any time I want to step outside after dark?

Blamekiller Two: If I walk by myself down an alley, I'm pretty tense too. That's common sense for everyone. Some people in the world are just bad.

Aunt B: But you don't fear being sexually violated, just punched and mugged and maybe shot. All of that sucks, but we're talking about rape here, and the social understanding of rape and its function as a tool of oppression, both literally and metaphorically. Focus.

Blamekiller Three: Yeah, but females get raped because most criminals are straight men. That's just how it is. It's always going to be that way. So women need to use more common sense because they're weaker and at higher risk for rape than men are.

Aunt B: Well, we're talking about why it's that way and how we can shape society so that rape is reduced.

Blamekiller Two: Men are hardwired to jump on top of women and hump them when they see the slightest glint of female skin. Especially if that skin is wrapped around someone who's really drunk. It's nature! Take it up with God. Or Mother Nature, for the period-worshipping womyn in the audience.

Aunt B: It's sexist and insulting to men to presume that men can't rise above their supposed carnal instinct, while still placing the burden of preventing rape on the women who are raped. Everyone loses in that scenerio. I don't care if it's "the way things are." I'm talking about ways to change that.

Blamekiller One: Wait, B! Define "rape." "No" doesn't always mean "no." In my personal observation, she who screams "no" the loudest often wants it the most. And my personal observations pretty much trump everything you say here on your blog.

Aunt B: You're being persnickety and silly and I'm moving on.

Blamekiller Three: Isn't it possible that Rape is a condition created by the Patriarchy to keep women afraid of men so men can be in power?

Aunt B: Sure. In fact, yes.

Blamekiller Three: So you're agreeing with me? But I have a penis and therefore am not allowed into your wiccan menstrual festivals, so my opinion is moot and if you agree with it, you have to admit that not all men are evil.

Aunt B: Goddamn it, I never said all men were evil! I was taking up for you assholes against people who say that men are nothing more than their violent instincts! Argh!

Blamekiller Four: Aunt B, you're right. Teenage girls these days are wearing streetwalker clothes and pole dancing in the lunchroom. It's no wonder boys don't understand boundaries.

Aunt B: Sigh.


Blogger Aunt B said...

This is the best play ever written. I love it and it makes me glad.

Wed May 03, 03:54:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Glad you like it. I'd love to create an illustrated version, but I'm, as you know, lazy.

Here's to blamekillers and all their hilarity!

Wed May 03, 04:07:00 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I love it!

Wed May 03, 04:22:00 PM  
Blogger Brandonian said...

There's a series of philosophy books that have arguments that read just like this blogpost. They'll have Kant and Nieche bicker back and forth about nothing for 30 pages.


Wed May 03, 04:52:00 PM  
Blogger newscoma said...

This is really quite brilliant.

Wed May 03, 05:09:00 PM  
Blogger Peggasus said...

This is most excellent.

I herefore nominate you for some bigass, hugely-famous-for-distilling-complicated-issues-to-their-essence prize.

And I propose we call it 'The Nutshell Award.'

Wed May 03, 06:01:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Thanks, y'all!

You can count on me to put the nut in nutshell.

And the corny jokes in everything.

Wed May 03, 09:43:00 PM  

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