[Pass the muster]
Good morning. You'll notice the timestamp has an "a.m." in it that is not preceded by a 12, 1, or 2, which may frighten and confuse you. It certainly frightens and confuses me.

My grandmother, who came to visit yesterday in anticipation of some Monday Memphis errands, just left a little bit ago, and I can't go back to sleep. Our original plan was to get up at 8 and leave by 9 or so, so we could go get her military ID renewed at the base in Millington, but she knocked on the bedroom door at 8, completely ready, and said she was shoving off because she had stuff to do. So I stood there in (coincidentally, now that I think about it) my ARMY T-shirt, rubbing sleep out of my eyes, and couldn't summon the brain wattage to argue. When Grandmaw says jump, you say "yes ma'am."

She got here yesterday afternoon and we spent an hour just sitting on the couch, talking and watching TV, before I got irritated at intangible worries (What if she's bored out of her mind? What if I'm bored out of my mind?) and forcefully suggested we go do something — anything — to keep from spending the whole evening staring at the TV. So I drove her downtown and we checked out the Peabody (and just missed the 5 p.m. duck parade) and the little gallery stores on the first floor that sell giant elephant tusks with Biblical scenes carved in them and enormous concrete dog statues that cost $25,000. Then we drove around the downtown area so she could show me where she used to work and kick around as an enterprising young lady of the '40s. She said so much has changed about downtown that she can barely even recognize some of the areas. She didn't much care for Peabody Place, however, and wagered that it was a waste of space.

Then we came back, Phil cooked dinner for us, and we watched "Desperate Housewives," which she loves but I had never seen before and, dios mio, I actually liked.

So I can't blame her hauling ass out of town at the crack of dawn. I would too if I didn't, you know, value my job. I suspect it had something to do with her man friend, whom she said called her this morning to ask her to bring a camera to him. So I guess she shifted her schedule around to accommodate his request, which is what you do when you're in love with someone you have to sneak around to see.

So the rest of the day is mine, I guess. Writing this has made me sleepy again, so there's no telling what it's doing to you poor readers. Put your head down on your desk and take a nap, just like old times.