Monday, July 2

The joys of cat ownership

• There is a series of small scratches and puncture wounds spanning from my legs to my shoulders where I have been used as a tree trunk/scratching post while sitting at my desk and attempting to type on my keyboard while the cats scaled the desk chair repeatedly, using me as an inconvenience to be trampled upon.

• All cords have had to be elevated to the extremely unattractive location known as "eye level" so as to be better ignored by tiny feline creatures the height of my baseboards.

• Sally's farting problem has, thankfully, gotten better since I stopped feeding them soft food, but she still sometimes lets one fly when I pick her up or — worst of all — when I creep up and lean in for a little kitty smooch. And they are foul.

• Fleas. Gah! Two more weeks 'til I can safely treat them.

• Jack is a purrer. He purrs constantly, but when he's really happy, his motorboat-like vibrations raise several decibels and you have to turn up the TV.

• Sally, despite being the skittish one at first, is now Ms. Insane Play-with-me-constantly-or-I-will-attack- your-extremities Cat. She enjoys lying beside me as I watch TV or lie in bed to read, and attacking my eyelashes every time I blink. I don't think she ever sleeps. Ever.

• My friend Ashley got me one of those laser pointer things, which was a fabulous present because it means I plant my ass down somewhere and make them chase it until they figure out they're never going to catch it.

• Their favorite place to lounge is right behind my ass as I'm on the computer, which means I have to sit on the edge of the seat to type anything. Which means I'm on the computer less and less, as it's extremely uncomfortable.

• I'm still the boss, though. Right?

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Blogger Mama Squirrel said...

If the fleas are so bad that you can't wait 2 more weeks, brewer's yeast or lavender essential oil will help without hurting the kittens. Rub the powdered yeast into their fur or dab lavender essential oil behind their ears. Probably the least expensive way would be a bath with Johnson's lavender baby shampoo. It won't hurt them (and it makes them smell pretty), but the fleas can't stand it.

Mon Jul 02, 06:51:00 AM  
Blogger Lesley said...

Eddie is 13 and has still not lost interest in playing with a laser pointer or flashlight. It's a great way to tucker him out before bedtime.

However, he didn't really understand the concept of bedtime until he was about four years old. The worst was that any time I'd move during my sleep, he thought my feet were toys and would attack. Oh, and he'd spend all night pushing things off the dresser and opening every drawer and cabinet. But, you know, they really do settle down...after about four years.

Mon Jul 02, 07:42:00 AM  
Blogger mike said...

Wait until the kittens discover your leather shoes!

Next time you're in Home Despot, buy a three-foot length of dowel (thinness doesn't matter). When you get home, cut a five foot length of string and duct-tape it to one end of the dowel. You now have a toy guaranteed to provide hours and years of endless amusement for cats! Dirt cheap, too.

If you have fleas in the carpet and whatnot, there's a trick I was taught: Put a dish of water (no more than half full) near where they are and leave it out overnight. The fleas will jump in and drown!

Mon Jul 02, 09:26:00 AM  

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