Tuesday, March 20

A man named Jupiter from a place called Nova

Phone rings.

Me: Hello?

Phil: Hey. What are you doing?

Me: Photoshoppin' stuff.

Phil: I tried to call you earlier but didn't get through.

Me: Oh, my music's up. Probably didn't hear it.

Phil: I have a funny story for you. I think I was abducted last night.

Me: Oh, god.

Phil: I woke up this morning and—

Me: Your butt was bleeding?

Phil: Ha, no. I went to bed last night and when I woke up this morning to go to work, I was running kinda late, and stumbling around to brush my teeth and pee, and I reach for the dick hole (yes, "dick hole"), and I noticed that my underwear was on backward.

Me: Um?

Phil: That happens a lot to abductees. They either wake up missing an item of clothing or their underwear is on backward.

Me: So you think aliens are too stupid to put people's underwear back on the correct way?

Phil: No, they're not stupid. They just don't know any better.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Lynnster said...

(on the floor laughing)

(picking self up and dusting self off 'cos my floor is disgustingly filthy)

OK, well, if he didn't feel the effects of an anal probe, I'm not buying the abduction bit. Heh.

Tue Mar 20, 06:15:00 PM  
Anonymous shauna said...

I love that the weirdest part of this is not the alleged abduction, but the fact that he called his fly a "dick hole."

Wed Mar 21, 09:17:00 AM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Haha, yeah. Y'all, he is delightfully weird.

Wed Mar 21, 02:37:00 PM  
Blogger Anonymouse said...

awesome.

Wed Mar 21, 03:11:00 PM  

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