Tuesday, August 29

Three years of shameless exhibitionism!

Today marks the true anniversary of when I started blogging, though my Blogger archives only go back to November 2003. You have to use the Wayback Machine to get to my entries before I started using Blogger, when I just manually posted to my website, theology-and-geometry.com (which, as of this writing, is still not a porn site, thank goodness).

When I started blogging, I'm not sure that's what I even thought of it as. "Blogging" certainly wasn't the buzzword three years ago that it is now. I think I considered it "journaling." All I remember is that one day I was Googling "Sidelines" to see where we might have been popping up, and it led me to Oomny, a blog run by a then-fellow MTSU student (who I still read but who I've still never met) that I read with great interest, since online journals weren't quite so ever-present then and hers was really creative and well-done. And it got me thinking that it would be fun to have a site and write online and keep track of the everyday stuff that tends to get forgotten after time blurs it.

So I bought a domain and posted lots of stuff — portfolio, photos, poetry and prose, the journal — that more or less gave me an outlet for my creativity as well as my crazed rantings and pretentiously worded musings (some things never change). A few of my friends read at first, and then more of my friends, and then some people I've never met but would like to, and then, much later, some random Googlers I'd just as soon never meet (seriously, searching for Alia Shawkat's boobs? Sicko).

It's weird (and kind of scary) to look back at what I wrote near the beginning and think that people who don't know me are reading it. Or, much worse, people who do know me but who aren't as acutely aware of my inner monologue as are my close friends, or who wouldn't appreciate my take on certain events. I wrote a little bit about my family's personal business and interactions that today I probably wouldn't, at least not as specifically. They'd kill me. Also, I have no right, since most of them have no idea I have a blog where they might be identifiably mentioned. Those are their stories too, not just mine, and as long as my real name is associated with this site, I have to consider the rights my family members have to not have their embarrassing or private moments used as blogfodder. You'd think that would be common sense, but back when five people read this blog and I actively kept it private, I was more free with what I wrote about the people close to me. And, while I've written some stuff that kinda makes me cringe, I'm not going to take it down.

But I love my family and I adore how every moment spent with them is an adventure in high comedy (not that kind of high comedy) or poignancy. My parents, at least, know I have a blog, but as far as I know, they've never surfed over to read. My mom says she doesn't want to know what goes on over here. My grandmother's always bugging me about designers not having bylines, and don't I want to be a reporter so I can have a byline? And I just haven't gotten the courage to tell her yet that I'm bylining my life for free on the internets (and that she makes cameo appearances). My sister found my photoblog once but I don't think she clicked through to this blog, or surely she would have mentioned it and whacked me over the head a couple of times for never telling her about it.

I guess I'm just scared that the people who knew and loved me first will be the people least charmed by who I really am. I mean, I am who I am when I'm with them, but I am also less me. A little muted. Less cursing and cynicism. I try to keep the sloppy liberalism quiet. That sort of thing. Here, well, I send out little dispatches of self and the digital divide spares me from most judgment. Nice.

So, three years and I still haven't shut up. Will wonders never cease?

4 Comments:

Blogger John H said...

Here's to anniversaries and sloppy liberalism. Much better than no blog and rigid conservatism, I always say.

Glad you've persevered. Most everybody I know has only been at this for a year or two.

Do you try to 'make yourself' post everyday? (I'm not saying that's how it reads, but that is my drill, which sometimes results, in my world, in blogorrhea).

Tue Aug 29, 12:34:00 PM  
Blogger David Holt said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

Tue Aug 29, 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger theogeo said...

Thanks to you both.

John, I don't really make myself post every day, but it seems like I do think about posting way more than I used to when I started, and I get kinda antsy if a couple of days pass and I still have nothing to write about.

I do sometimes post when I'm bored. I can't decide if that's worse than posting drunk or what.

Tue Aug 29, 09:19:00 PM  
Blogger ariel said...

you should have stalked me on campus and said hello.

-ariel of oomny non-fame

Tue Sep 05, 04:53:00 PM  

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