Can we all hold hands when we make new plans?

Amber (right) and Not Craig.

Because the universe has an odd sense of humor, today is not only Phil's birthday, but Amber's. And what better way to celebrate her birthday, really, than flying in to Tennessee and driving down to the delta to visit me, with Craig in tow.

This will be my first time meeting Craig. I have seen a couple of his short films (and if I was a better person and a little less drunk I'd link to them on Atom, granted I could find them) and they were superbly crafted with intelligent humor and professionalism that is rare in indie filmmaking. So I'm excited to be confronted with his creative force. I have been instructed to take notes and distribute them to the rest of the kids, scoring Craig in courtesy, attitude, hygeine, wit, mom jokes, and good looks. He's an authentic Yankee, so we might have to take him to the park where Nathan Bedford Forrest is buried and devour some barbecue and iced tea on the gravesite.

Cuz that's how we roll.

In preparation for their visit, I've promised myself I'd take a trip to Ike's and stock up on air freshener gadgets for the bathroom, which smells like mosquito-infested swamp water thanks to the constant leak seeping through the wood of the cabinets. (I have not used the sink faucet for an entire day now and somehow the sink plumbing is still leaking out onto the floor. Riddle me that, plumbing wizzes.) I'll also probably try to hide these last two pesky boxes to at least make it appear as though I've completely moved in. And I'll probably dust mop and coat everything with Febreze just in case it actually stinks in here and I've just grown used to it.

I'm really not sure what we'll get into once they're here. They'll be arriving late Sunday night and leaving Monday night, so time is at a premium and I imagine money will be too. At least for me. Craig's only been to Memphis once in his life, when he was traveling with a mobile flu commercial acting troupe, and he hated it then. But that was something like a decade or so, and I'm almost positive the city sucks less than it did then, so I'd kind of like to do something to change his mind about our fair city.

It would be a safe bet to imagine that we'll spend the entire 24 hours on the couch, imbibing and clucking, just like old times. And truly, that would be good enough for me.

So happy birthday, slutbunny. I can't wait to see you and make fun of your vegetarianism!