I've got the Sunday afternoon blues

Ooh, I am feeling defeated today. I am tired and irritated and I don't think I will be nice to anyone who talks to me. It is the end of the year and all I'm asking for is some peace, but all I'm getting is aggression and grief. I am tired of talking to people and interacting with them. I am tired of working at Sidelines. I am tired of not getting respect. I am tired of being disposable. I am tired of feeling blacklisted. I am tired of homophobic sports editors. I am tired of disingenuous academic leaders. I am tired of worrying. I am tired of feeling sad and helpless. I am tired of working 51 hours every week. I am tired of reading Kant and Descartes. I am tired of not being able to get this blog to do the things I want it to. All I want to do is sleep and hug Phil and cry.

Moving on. This blog thing is convenient, since I can actually post from a Mac or a PC (Macs aren't supported by the archaic Geocities program I use to build this site). But I've got to figure out how to get a menu bar here somewhere so navigation isn't quite so difficult. Oh well, I can ponder that later. For now, the Friday Five.

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
One - Lose at least 30 pounds (we are talking about by the end of 2004, right??)
Two - Establish a healthier eating routine that involves taking vitamins regularly and drinking less soda
Three - Master both Photoshop and Freehand and become acquainted with InDesign
Four - Secure a good, fulfilling, well-paying job at a respected newspaper or magazine somewhere ... anywhere
Five - Visit the west coast

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
This may sound terrible to those of you who have a penchant for nostalgia, but there's not a single person I've lost touch with who I'm dying to talk to again. My past is in the past, and I hope every day that I can keep it there.

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
One - Take good, artistic photos and call myself a "photographer"
Two - Paint and draw with the finesse of a genuine artist
Three - Exercise and derive some sort of pleasure from it, instead of agony and disdain
Four - Shoot and edit video so I could make my own little films
Five - Play some sort of instrument in a band

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
One - Free Tommy Chong! (Just kidding.) I would donate to a socially progressive charity (NORML, FMF, etc.) as well as other medicine-related charities searching for cures to cancer and whatnot.
Two - Drop out of school and set off on a yearlong trek around the globe with Phil and the ferrets.
Three - Buy a house or two on the coast and in the mountains -- one Mediterranean style Spanish home and one magnificent log cabin.
Four - Pay off my debts and the debts of my parents
Five - Buy my family and Phil some really cool shit for Christmas

5. List five things you do that help you relax.
One - Get in my black sweatpants and a T-shirt
Two - Sit on the couch with Phil and watch either TV or a movie (sometimes when both are unbearably violent, aggressive and threatening, we simply listen to music)
Three - Play video games that don't require adrenaline
Four - Turn off all the ringers on my various phones and turn down the machine
Five - Sleep